burden done

Yep. The whole project has finally came to an end, today. Re-evaluation because the initial one didn't went well and hopefully I won't fail. That is the worst part of all of it. Spending the whole sem on this thing just to pass it all. Today five leaf clover talked about security project. Sounds just so attractive, school jacket, cert, competition chance, knowledge and all. Well, instead of this coding with no intensive only to get is 2 loaned devices and a grading part. Should have gone for it and oh well, the chance is not there for me I guess. Hopefully can successfully get into for the final year project hyeah.

been missing out the school jacket! gonna earn it! and some cert of course.
plenty of chance to get cert but i have none.

towards the end of the sem. Chocolate were given by five leaf clover and lovely cher. A generous bag of chocolate. Well, gave all of those to my boy, cos I don't wanna eat hahaha. The taste is sickening like garlic I ate too much. never ask me why, because is the natural hormones.
:o

All garlic course meal.

This sem I met wonderful cher ever.

Starting from lovely cher, I have to gratitude her the most, because she gave a lot to us the dangerous team. We are really dangerous on the edge because we are literally nothing without her. You have all my respect and salute.

Five leaf clover is next for her expandable and wide knowledge in security. Known her last time, and nicest cher ever to explain things in brief yet detailed version. Instead of normal presentation most cher made us do, she made us write on boards or papers what we have learn or solve the problem. Thumbs up.

Kiddo cher. Kinda look like Conan with the round glasses and small face but nah. Not that almost also. Taught me 1 by 1 on the 1st lesson. Awesome dude ever.
And the chipmunks assistant, swee la this dude. Taught me all the shortcut in lab.

Seller cher. Like this cher alot although most of the time, most of the class dislike ahahhahahaha. no earphone ! treat us twice time pizza omg. Such doting cher ever! And concern as well, but comes to commenting, whaaa simply one!

Stoner cher. Yep Hate him so do all of the new class. Drop in this class due to switch of class. But nice grading yet sometime is ridiculous. puncha.

k done.nice ah sem. Hopefully to get all A. cos don't wan one project grade pull down all. This core must go up. jia you!

hohoho happy cny

Sorry ppl, my rants again. Twitter is just not long enough for me.

And I just want to rant about this one particular thing which made me really stressed even before I can really celebrate CNY. I guess not, very hard for me to put up a smiling face... because I don't know how to smile anymore with this in mind.

To put up front, I am really really really terrible regret to join this project. Serious. To be honest, when the superior requested to see me face-to-face, he did say that this is a very time-straining project, very hard to juggle from normal studies and this project. I wish I could turn back time, just go for normal studies, grad and get a diploma without any failing. Instead of participating in competition, hoping to get a school jacket, with a chance of success or failing the mod. Which is I will fail in the end, because I don't have really talented in such skills. I am just a passerby with a skill of crtl c+v and an understanding knowledge.

Throughout the weeks honestly what happen. All to do was research on the web, on and on, on and on, on and on. Though timing is free time, but just have to stay in the class, research. Research is limited because the technology is kinda new, not many people write the articles. Even if got is those older version and need to research more to translate to newer version. And the thing is my pc sucks. Guess how much the RAM is?

Oh yeah, no one is there to guide on the technology. The whole project, work on our own. With no prior knowledge.

And of course, I am the weakest in the team. And of course as well, the teachers know the other team mates as well because they taught them before or con-currently. They have great reputation. For me? I have known no one, so I must depend on my later work to be recognized, and of course, not that easy.

I have been in bad or neutral or "not-existing" shape in this kind of class. My previous teachers doesn't give me great grades even though I scored pretty well in the examination. Partially because I didn't implement, and my evaluation wasn't that great, and was accuse of plagiarisms as I fault-fully, innocently, stupidly admit that I "reference" friends' work which was not given.

I was that bad. And to be in this team. To be in this project, it was regret. and no turning back.
finger-crossed for the next eval. really pissed on the previous one.

Well, most of it, is my fault. I didn't displayed team work with them although we really best friends. Can't work my project, and does some little work, and perceived I never done any by the judge. Really pissed because you can't expected us to give a fully-function project, we aren't really developers. We are students needed help but aren't given.
And I doesn't really code much. Compared to the others.

Deeply sorry. Real stress right now. Karma hits back.

Meanwhile

And for that one guy I have been all along hurting the most. Special mention to you because you did a lot for me, but didn't get what you wanted in return, a bf mention. Like can't even post our picture even you wanted to but gets deleted because I told ya so. Didn't have me telling you all the shits I have been through like right now. IDKY, but I all along is like that kind of person. Used to it. But I felt loved.

And I don't publicizes our relationship to anyone just for a sake of being mysterious. And what happen is you don't like it. Thinking I am finding fault or just an excuse

Everyone treats me well. But what they get in return. Disappointment. which I can't really never 补偿 compensate .Call me 无情无义吧， 也许我看不见也感受不到你们收到的对待， 但是我觉得是这样。